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I don’t/couldn’t give a monkey’s

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Colloquial BritishPlay
A very informal British expression used among friends or in casual conversation, not for formal situations. SlideThey're arguing over politics again, but I couldn't give a monkey's.
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Humorous TonePlay
Often carries a playful or ironic tone, rather than expressing strong apathy. SlideYou're trying to impress with fancy cooking? I don't give a monkey's, just order pizza!
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Emotional DistancePlay
Indicates emotional detachment or disinterest in the subject mentioned. SlideHe's bragging about his new car, but honestly, I don't give a monkey's.
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